We all know that it is an extremely challenging time in our lives and that everyone has been impacted by the pandemic.
When it comes to talking about our own stress, we can sometimes fall into the trap of comparing, and feeling that it is not legitimate for us to express our distress, because we feel that others have much greater problems.
We need to acknowledge that something is going on for everyone.
For those that were preparing to celebrate their wedding with their friends and family, the pandemic has caused major disruptions. Couples across the country have been impacted, countless weddings have been postponed, and rather than being an exciting milestone, planning a wedding has for many become a significant source of stress.
At the root of it all there is loss. Loss of certainty, loss of choice, loss of spontaneity. Loss due to the emphasis on separation instead of togetherness. Loss due to the emphasis on restrictions instead of choice, the choice to celebrate your marriage in whatever way you choose.
It is ok to not feel ok.
If you are upset about not seeing your wedding plans come to fruition or feel hard done by because of the lack of certainty for the future, it is important to validate your disappointment. It is healthy to acknowledge your feelings as doing so will allow you to move past your loss and start building towards positivity. If you don't let yourself acknowledge the loss, the sadness and frustration may come out in other ways in the future. Once you fully acknowledge your own feelings, you will be able to work through them and eventually regain positivity.
Remember, you are not alone -there are two of you in this!
Marriage is the process of joining in close association. It is about communicating and understanding. The fact that you want to spend your entire life with someone means that you are ready to share with your partner.
Share with each other how you are feeling. Acknowledge to each other what you find most disappointing. Listen to each other. Lean on each other. Support each other. Remember you are two individual people, with unique responses and reactions to life’s events so avoid judging each other and just be there for each other. Allowing the expression of loss will allow room for your joint resilience, hope and perspective to come alive.
Be grateful that you have each other to get through this time.
Unite in your response and if issues emerge that you would like to explore further, use the time to discuss them.
Expressing how we feel is a natural healing process and is essential to healthy human functioning. If you find that your emotional upsets occur frequently, are disturbing and fail to wear off after a while, maybe this is the time to consider if talking with a counsellor might prove beneficial to you in the long run.
At Life Events Counselling my aim is to encourage you to feel worthy enough to speak about whatever it is that is troubling you. I aim to enable you to feel safe, understood, respected, and accepted without judgement.
I am available for a 15-minute consultation (no charge) and we can then see if I am the right therapist to support you to feel better than you currently do.